Similes
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| quick as a wink quick as a flash quick as a tick in a New York minute fast as greased lightning swift as the wind slow as a snail slow as molasses in January calm as a millpond wise as Solomon smart as a whip dumb as a post dumb as dirt hard as a rock hard as flint soft as butter soft as eider down soft as a pillow big as a house hot as a pistol hot as hell warm as toast cool as a cucumber cool as the other side of your pillow cold as ice cold as stone cold as hell cold as a witch's tit big as God happy as a clam at high tide happy as a lark happy as a sandboy filthy as a pig sty clean as a hound's tooth clean as a whistle slick as a whistle slick as a greased pig old as the hills old as Methuselah sound as a dollar straight as a die tight as a drum tight as Dick's hatband safe as houses regular as clock work easy as pie easy as rolling off a log simple as 1-2-3 right as rain high as a kite lowly as a worm flat as a pancake sharp as a tack empty as a drunkard's purse drunk as a lord drunk as a sailor sober as a judge light as a feather light as air heavy as lead silent as a pirate's conscience phony as a three-dollar bill queer as a nine-bob note odd as two left shoes familiar as the hairs on the back of your hand ornery as a rattlesnake with hives ornery as a water moccasin havin' his belly scrubbed with a washboard pick ornery as a two-headed bull ornery as a one-eyed pocket gopher in a thistle patch ornery as a Corn Belt tornado ornery as a pit bull shittin' railroad spikes ornery as a she-cat with a thorn in her paw hard as picking fly shit out of black pepper easy as putting a six-legged cat in a bucket of water fine as frog's hair jolly as thin slice thick with jelly hard-headed as a ball-peen hammer welcome as a skunk at a lawn party dead as a doornail dead as a mackerel dead as a dodo stale as yesterday's newspaper pleased as Punch (of "Punch and Judy" fame) good as gold good as new good as his word useful as a back pocket in a vest useful as a spit valve on a guitar useless as a tit on a bull useless as a screen door on a submarine close as wet is to water funny as a rubber crutch funny as a train wreck pure as the driven snow tall as a tree short as pie crust fresh as a daisy clear as a bell clear as crystal clear as mud dark as a dungeon dark as night bright as a new penny pretty as a picture ugly as sin ugly as a mud fence thin as a rail thin as a rake skinny as a rail slender as a willow stout as lard soap blind as a concrete block blind as a bat fat as a pig chipper as a sparrow gentle as a lamb sly as a fox wise as an owl harmless as a dove loose as a goose stubborn as a mule playful as a kitten spineless as a jellyfish strong as an ox slippery as an eel free as a bird brave as a lion timid as a mouse hungry as a bear cross as a bear proud as a peacock lazy as a dog sick as a dog healthy as a horse busy as a bee busy as a beaver eager as a beaver noisy as crows hairy as an ape poor as a church mouse poor as Job's turkey nervous as a cat on a hot tin roof nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs mad as a wet hen mad as a hornet mad as hops mad as a hatter daft as a brush crazy as a coot bald as a coot scarce as hen's teeth busy as a one-armed paper hanger busy as a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest rich as Croesus cheap as a three-legged cow straight as a ramrod straight as an arrow crooked as a dog's hind leg honest as the day is long innocent as a new-born babe guilty as sin fit as a fiddle long as a wet Sunday wet as a shag on a rock wet as a Bronx cheer limp as a dishrag stiff as a poker stiff as a board flat as a board bald as a billiard ball naked as a jay bird rare as hen's teeth cute as a button bright as a button bright as a penny dull as dishwater American as apple pie sweet as apple pie sweet as honey keen as mustard black as pitch black as the ace of spades black as Newgate’s knocker red as a beet red as a lobster brown as a berry white as a sheet white as snow solid as the Rock of Gibraltar smooth as silk smooth as satin smooth as glass smooth as a baby's behind rough as sandpaper sure as shootin' certain as death and taxes plain as the nose on your face dry as dust dry as a bone loud as thunder quiet as a mouse silent as a tomb silent as the grave deaf as a doorknob snug as a bug in a rug bold as brass bashful as a school girl modest as a maiden alike as two peas in a pod bitter as gall large as life deep as the ocean restless as the sea still as a statue sturdy as an oak helpless as a babe thick as thieves thick as pea soup thick as two short planks nutty as a fruitcake subtle as a sledge hammer fair as a lily full as a tick neat as a pin mean as gar broth mean as a junkyard dog tough as old boots |