Will Rogers Quotes
Source

I never met a man I didn't like.

If you can build a business up big enough, it is respectable.

You can't say civilization isn't advancing: in every war, they kill you in a new way.

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business.

Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated.

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

There is nothing as stupid as an educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.

One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide.

Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.

I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they do now.

Golf is good for the soul. You get so mad at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.

So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.

The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.

We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.

All I know is what I read in the papers.

You can't legislate intelligence and common sense into people.

I can remember way back when a liberal was one who was generous with his own money.

Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches.

The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best.

Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth.

Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

A conference is held for one reason only, to give everybody chance to get sore at everybody else. Sometimes it takes two or three conferences to scare up a war, but generally one will do it.

It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

I am not a member of any organized party—I am a Democrat.

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

There are two theories to arguing with a woman...neither works.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back in your pocket.

There are three kinds of men: The ones that learn by reading.  The few who learn by observation.  The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence and find out for themselves.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

Letting the cat out of the the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back.